Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
