Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You may now shotgun with the bride
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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