I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
