If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
His nipple licking is glorious
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