Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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