Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
