i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
