I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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