Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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