This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
