it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
