i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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