The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
