are you still at the devil's house?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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