i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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