Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
