textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
