i permit you to call me
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
