I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got inside last night via doggy door
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
