never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
love makes seman taste better
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Randomize
