Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
