You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
