Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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