let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
