he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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