I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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