I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
