I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
