You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
