Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
is it fun? or sober?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
