Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
