just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
