So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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