You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
