I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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