Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
