Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
