And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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