I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
