what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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