I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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