I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
