Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
