i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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