that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
