mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
