uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
