I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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