I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
