I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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